I noticed that I wasn't blogging because life was moving so fast, I felt I couldn't keep up in my brain. So I started blogging more. But you wouldn't know it. I blog a lot lately. Some of the blogs are even long. Some are short or incomplete. But they all have on thing in common, I can't hit "publish post".
I don't know why.
I think I like to add a lot of disclaimers about what I write. I like to frame up what I am thinking at the time I write. Because if something is taken out of context it can look pretty nasty. If there is anything we have all learned in the computer age, it's that sarcasm and humor don't really come across in the written format as it does in the verbal. Though I do do think facebook my be training us all in a little.
Facebook is a bunch of out of context snapshots. And I have a few friends who even like to play it off as a mind game. You have to watch for punctuation or capitalization to get some of it. And in some cases humor disguised as blatant bigotry (read that twice, it's really not possible, bigotry is bigotry, I hate it when people try to play it off as humor)... seems my sense of humor could use a little water lately. Or salt??
Shall we return from my tangent...
So I write blogs and I don't post them. Odd. It's like the electronic way of holding things in, maybe if I keep it up my blog with have a nervous breakdown. Ohh nooo. Well here I am trying to break the habit.
So I decided I am going to try to post more. The name of the blog is Diem to Carpe (you know Latin Carpe Diem, Seize the Day), so I am going to do just that. I am going to try to avoid my disclaimers and scene setting and just write about my day. I just want to make the most of every day. And for some reason I feel that chronological and historical documentation makes it more real. No, it is really more about self-awareness. Some days you forget you actually accomplished something.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Keeping it rolling
So life with 5 kids is still training me in. Two weeks with sick children, we made it through just fine, but it's just another first I am learning how to handle. Everyone is better now, let's just hope it stays that way.
Hair is a big topic lately at the house. 3 girls who have different hair but want equal hair attention. So the straight-haired child has taken to needed hot oil treatments and clarifying sessions. The youngest textured-haired child wants elaborate braids and styles that aren't easy to maintain on a young child. And then there is the older textured-haired child. Her hair has a mind of it's own, just to comb through it in the morning can take 20 minutes, and involves a LOT of shrieks of pain. Poor Girl. So we are trying something a little different. After 10 hours of research via Google and YouTube, we.... okay I, decided on the new style. The new style took about 10 hours (over 2 days) to "install" and the current result is about 205+ little braids all over her head. The plain is to have a head full of mini "locs". The fine folks at YouTube have held my hand through how to prepare for the style, how to install the style, and prepare me for maintaining the style. I have found that it is nearly impossible to explain this process... if you don't know what it is then you just have to see it. Anyway, our current routine (again for 1 child) is just wetting the braids each day. In a few weeks we will move on to the next step. So that was my weekend last weekend. Just hair :-)
Today the youngest girl asked for her hair to be done (30 minutes prior to needing to leave for school). We took the 30 minutes to remove the existing hair style and she's got an adorable 'fro' going on today! She can instruct me on her next style when she gets home. It makes me smile to think of it. She will have a plan, that's just the kind of girl she is. So we will see how much time hair takes up this weekend.
Things are progressing at the orphanage. It looks like all the kiddo are enrolled for school for this term. We are establishing a plan to get ongoing funds for education, so hopefully that will fall into place and it won't need to be a worry. Just knowing the kids will be able to go and not wondering where the money will come from. That would be such a blessing.
Still working on a visa for my girl to come to America (high school student), from Ghana. Her request for a visa has been denied twice. She is working on a third attempt. Honestly the thought of it makes me weary. She has decided to take it into her hands this time to gather the papers, so that is a blessing! She is going a great job of it and learning a lot along the way, I am proud of her.
I am currently researching options for selling Ghana handmade items here in the US. We met some very talented people in Ghana and we would love to bring their work here to sell. But I have to figure out all the details of how to make that work. I expect I will find a way to make it work, so my friends in Ghana are pulling together some sample work.
My Ghanaian "mum" has been having trouble with a tooth. It was infected and causing all kinds of pain and problems. A couple of friends pulled together to get some funds to help to get this fixed. Yesterday I got a call that the tooth was removed and a new one put in place (it was a front tooth). She was excited because you couldn't even tell which one was the new one. Wow! How great for her.
Tonight the girls are having a friend come for a sleep over, I doubt I'll notice an extra child in the house. This also makes me smile!
Hair is a big topic lately at the house. 3 girls who have different hair but want equal hair attention. So the straight-haired child has taken to needed hot oil treatments and clarifying sessions. The youngest textured-haired child wants elaborate braids and styles that aren't easy to maintain on a young child. And then there is the older textured-haired child. Her hair has a mind of it's own, just to comb through it in the morning can take 20 minutes, and involves a LOT of shrieks of pain. Poor Girl. So we are trying something a little different. After 10 hours of research via Google and YouTube, we.... okay I, decided on the new style. The new style took about 10 hours (over 2 days) to "install" and the current result is about 205+ little braids all over her head. The plain is to have a head full of mini "locs". The fine folks at YouTube have held my hand through how to prepare for the style, how to install the style, and prepare me for maintaining the style. I have found that it is nearly impossible to explain this process... if you don't know what it is then you just have to see it. Anyway, our current routine (again for 1 child) is just wetting the braids each day. In a few weeks we will move on to the next step. So that was my weekend last weekend. Just hair :-)
Today the youngest girl asked for her hair to be done (30 minutes prior to needing to leave for school). We took the 30 minutes to remove the existing hair style and she's got an adorable 'fro' going on today! She can instruct me on her next style when she gets home. It makes me smile to think of it. She will have a plan, that's just the kind of girl she is. So we will see how much time hair takes up this weekend.
Things are progressing at the orphanage. It looks like all the kiddo are enrolled for school for this term. We are establishing a plan to get ongoing funds for education, so hopefully that will fall into place and it won't need to be a worry. Just knowing the kids will be able to go and not wondering where the money will come from. That would be such a blessing.
Still working on a visa for my girl to come to America (high school student), from Ghana. Her request for a visa has been denied twice. She is working on a third attempt. Honestly the thought of it makes me weary. She has decided to take it into her hands this time to gather the papers, so that is a blessing! She is going a great job of it and learning a lot along the way, I am proud of her.
I am currently researching options for selling Ghana handmade items here in the US. We met some very talented people in Ghana and we would love to bring their work here to sell. But I have to figure out all the details of how to make that work. I expect I will find a way to make it work, so my friends in Ghana are pulling together some sample work.
My Ghanaian "mum" has been having trouble with a tooth. It was infected and causing all kinds of pain and problems. A couple of friends pulled together to get some funds to help to get this fixed. Yesterday I got a call that the tooth was removed and a new one put in place (it was a front tooth). She was excited because you couldn't even tell which one was the new one. Wow! How great for her.
Tonight the girls are having a friend come for a sleep over, I doubt I'll notice an extra child in the house. This also makes me smile!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
One of "those" people
We all know someone who is a little strange in their own way. Not strange in an attractive, unique and different kind of way... but in that awkward, uncomfortable "there she goes again" kind of way.
Some people would argue I've always been that person, but I just discovered her. She's crazy over the top about injustice. She some how she can't let go of it. At work there was an icebreaker question about what kind of retail store you'd own if money wasn't an issue... I fail to be able to even pretend this could happen. She said she would sell anything and give all proceeds to orphans. What's the joy in buying and selling things if you aren't helping someone? Why would I care what I sold as long as it was helping someone. I (me), I should have answered selling hand made fair trade items... that makes sense. But no, she answered the question because there was not a grasp on reality.
Today there was a discussion about purchasing a gift for someone. 99% of the Christmas gifts I gave this year had the proceeds going to a good cause. So she has trouble reasoning out how to handle this. She says it would be good to donate in the recipients name... I (me), I should have said let's buy this or that, which also could support a good cause. But in the midst of it she answered.
I find myself surrounded by conversations that I cannot participate in. The best school for my children, the best place to get a hair cut, the newest movie. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good school for my children, I recognize the need for hair cuts, and I am not opposed to entertainment.... but she just wonders how much of that money could go to feed or educate a child. What contribution could be made to minimize or eliminate injustice.
Just for the record I believe in teaching a man to fish. I am not in support of hand out after hand out. That doesn't solve the problem for anyone, and in fact can create more. But education and dedication can help to move someone out of the hands of injustice to gain some control.
So it's become part of the air I breathe. It is becoming or has become part of the person I am. I don't know that I consider much without considering the impact to those who are less fortunate or in need of some kind.
On that note... I do think it is important to respect people's passion. I think I have said it before. If someone wants to save the world by saving animals, or curing cancer, or saving a tree... so be it. If someone feels lead to be a witness and help to bringing a life into the world or a comfort and aid as a life leaves this world... so be it. Some people help their neighbor across the street, some people help their neighbor across the ocean. All those people who have a purpose, are doing something to make the world a better place and I support that.
Some people would argue I've always been that person, but I just discovered her. She's crazy over the top about injustice. She some how she can't let go of it. At work there was an icebreaker question about what kind of retail store you'd own if money wasn't an issue... I fail to be able to even pretend this could happen. She said she would sell anything and give all proceeds to orphans. What's the joy in buying and selling things if you aren't helping someone? Why would I care what I sold as long as it was helping someone. I (me), I should have answered selling hand made fair trade items... that makes sense. But no, she answered the question because there was not a grasp on reality.
Today there was a discussion about purchasing a gift for someone. 99% of the Christmas gifts I gave this year had the proceeds going to a good cause. So she has trouble reasoning out how to handle this. She says it would be good to donate in the recipients name... I (me), I should have said let's buy this or that, which also could support a good cause. But in the midst of it she answered.
I find myself surrounded by conversations that I cannot participate in. The best school for my children, the best place to get a hair cut, the newest movie. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good school for my children, I recognize the need for hair cuts, and I am not opposed to entertainment.... but she just wonders how much of that money could go to feed or educate a child. What contribution could be made to minimize or eliminate injustice.
Just for the record I believe in teaching a man to fish. I am not in support of hand out after hand out. That doesn't solve the problem for anyone, and in fact can create more. But education and dedication can help to move someone out of the hands of injustice to gain some control.
So it's become part of the air I breathe. It is becoming or has become part of the person I am. I don't know that I consider much without considering the impact to those who are less fortunate or in need of some kind.
On that note... I do think it is important to respect people's passion. I think I have said it before. If someone wants to save the world by saving animals, or curing cancer, or saving a tree... so be it. If someone feels lead to be a witness and help to bringing a life into the world or a comfort and aid as a life leaves this world... so be it. Some people help their neighbor across the street, some people help their neighbor across the ocean. All those people who have a purpose, are doing something to make the world a better place and I support that.
Welcome back to me
I can't believe a month has passed since my last blog. Who knows how much has happened since then.
Christmas happened, I do know that. The kids were off school two weeks. During the second week I took all five of them to swimming lessons each day. It's just a reminder that I am not very skilled at being a parent to 5 children. Seems I would have created some plan by which I had some help... or not. It was a learning experience for us all. It was nice to be with the kids, but I am pretty sure we all had enough of each other 24x7 after the 5th day.
I felt like I took a break over the holidays. A break as in a separation, not necessarily as "vacation" type break. Less communication with Ghana and less time to work on the non-profit and US Visas. I suppose some people would say that you have to take a break some times... but really it's just a luxury that we fail to acknowledge. It's like telling a dying man he's been working to hard at staying alive and he should take a break. Some people just don't have the luxury of a break.
One of the girls is sick tonight. You know when you are sick how you just want your own bed and your own clothes, and familiar comfort food? This child has only been in America for 5 months... I wonder if there is anything about this place that feels like home. I just look at her eyes and I know that there is some food or some comfort that she wishes she had that I cannot offer. Not yet. Maybe some day.
Christmas happened, I do know that. The kids were off school two weeks. During the second week I took all five of them to swimming lessons each day. It's just a reminder that I am not very skilled at being a parent to 5 children. Seems I would have created some plan by which I had some help... or not. It was a learning experience for us all. It was nice to be with the kids, but I am pretty sure we all had enough of each other 24x7 after the 5th day.
I felt like I took a break over the holidays. A break as in a separation, not necessarily as "vacation" type break. Less communication with Ghana and less time to work on the non-profit and US Visas. I suppose some people would say that you have to take a break some times... but really it's just a luxury that we fail to acknowledge. It's like telling a dying man he's been working to hard at staying alive and he should take a break. Some people just don't have the luxury of a break.
One of the girls is sick tonight. You know when you are sick how you just want your own bed and your own clothes, and familiar comfort food? This child has only been in America for 5 months... I wonder if there is anything about this place that feels like home. I just look at her eyes and I know that there is some food or some comfort that she wishes she had that I cannot offer. Not yet. Maybe some day.
Monday, December 7, 2009
All in a day's work
Today 3 of the kids were home with me becuase they are off school for two days. So I decided to work from home. Not an easy task to say the least. My work today consisted of numerous phone conferences. And we all know exactly what children do the minute a parent is on the phone. Those three are old enough not to scream and cry at me, but I have about 10 pages of questions and after each one it say "Circle one: YES or NO".
It's funny because my answer was usually in the middle, but they would point and insist on a definitive answer. Due to a lack patience ,trying to work and parent, I wasn't much for reasons. One kid wrote back to my "no" and said "why?" I wrote back "Because I am the mom, that is why!" You know I wish there was an answer like that for everything in life. I'd like to end all arguments with one of the following statements:
-I told you so
-Because I said so
-I am going to tell your mom
I have run into some serious frustrations recently with "rules" that don't make sense. I just want to grab someone and say "Are you kidding me!??" I suppose it's God knocking on the door with another lesson in patience. I am working on it, I am! Little by little. I mean I haven't grabbed anyone (mostly because of a geographical distance issue of some 6,000 miles) but that's another story. Or is it? Can someone explain to me the reason for a $131 USD fee to apply for a US visa? And if you are denied the visa, you must pay it again. The reality is each interview lasts 3-10 minutes. Let's do the math... that's a lot of money per hour! I won't complain too much because I have no idea what the fee is actually intended to cover, but on the surface is seems like a scam of one kind of another.
About 15 hours ago I asked my kids to clean the toy room/toy closet in our house. They failed to stay focused and are still in progress with the task at nearly 10pm. The phases have paralleled the process of grieving.
1. Shock and denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance and hope
And the cycle evolves at each hour. And each child experiences as different stage at a different time. Presently a couple of them have moved back into denial here in hour fifteen. But one of them has approached acceptance and hope. Bargaining has been big tonight, but I am not giving in.
I find humor in it all. I suppose it might be mean to find humor in it, but I don't think my anger or frustration will help anything!
I have a negotiator approaching, I have to go.
It's funny because my answer was usually in the middle, but they would point and insist on a definitive answer. Due to a lack patience ,trying to work and parent, I wasn't much for reasons. One kid wrote back to my "no" and said "why?" I wrote back "Because I am the mom, that is why!" You know I wish there was an answer like that for everything in life. I'd like to end all arguments with one of the following statements:
-I told you so
-Because I said so
-I am going to tell your mom
I have run into some serious frustrations recently with "rules" that don't make sense. I just want to grab someone and say "Are you kidding me!??" I suppose it's God knocking on the door with another lesson in patience. I am working on it, I am! Little by little. I mean I haven't grabbed anyone (mostly because of a geographical distance issue of some 6,000 miles) but that's another story. Or is it? Can someone explain to me the reason for a $131 USD fee to apply for a US visa? And if you are denied the visa, you must pay it again. The reality is each interview lasts 3-10 minutes. Let's do the math... that's a lot of money per hour! I won't complain too much because I have no idea what the fee is actually intended to cover, but on the surface is seems like a scam of one kind of another.
About 15 hours ago I asked my kids to clean the toy room/toy closet in our house. They failed to stay focused and are still in progress with the task at nearly 10pm. The phases have paralleled the process of grieving.
1. Shock and denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance and hope
And the cycle evolves at each hour. And each child experiences as different stage at a different time. Presently a couple of them have moved back into denial here in hour fifteen. But one of them has approached acceptance and hope. Bargaining has been big tonight, but I am not giving in.
I find humor in it all. I suppose it might be mean to find humor in it, but I don't think my anger or frustration will help anything!
I have a negotiator approaching, I have to go.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Day by Day
My life is nothing short of an adventure every day. I have recently encountered just how public the World Wide Web is, so I hesitate to write too much these days. Nothing big and mysterious going on... it's just that you'd be amazed how someone can misuse a very small piece of information. But mostly I have a little of this and a little of that going on (smile).
I am doing my best to add one more human to my household. (details not available for disclosure on a public blog, but it's not an adoption).
I continue trying to help my friend John and his orphanage in Ghana. Talking with him has really changed my perspective on life. I thought seeing Ethiopia changed my life. But in reflection, I was there only 7 days, it was as if the 30 second commercials were now a prolong infomercial... I still didn't know the reality of it. And now I know enough to say that 5 weeks in Ghana is merely a vacation no matter the circumstances. I don't know the first thing about Ghana or the lives the people live. (okay I might know a little about the first thing... but that's all I know). Some days the world seems extremely tiny and other days overwhelmingly large. One minute things are as easy as an email to a foreign embassy, the next second it's as complicated as trying to get an original document via postal mail in the hands of someone who really doesn't have an address (just consider for a moment the likelihood of getting a piece of mail into the hands of a man on a mountain not near a road or identifiable dwelling - I don't care what the commercials say... fed ex and Brown are not that good).
And as if the world is not complicated enough I am helping the 6th grader in my house with a science experiment that was nothing less than surprising. I am not a botanist or biologist of any kind, but it seems to be the deeper you bury a seed the longer it will take to reach the surface. Granted we didn't have the best scientific controls and there are unlimited variables that come into play, but I was sure the seed under 1/2 inch of soil would burst through the surface much faster than the seed under 4 inches of soil. But no it did not! Maybe just an uncontrolled variable, I don't know; and I am choosing to blog rather than research the answer. But I think it proves a point about people are deep and who carry a lot of weight on their shoulders, it just makes them stronger and faster than those who are shallow.
The name of this blog is a bit of a motto for me. Everyday has something to capture. This weekend I am going away on a silent retreat. Just thinking about it makes my brain hurt - mostly because I am goal oriented. I am trying to place a goal or an outcome on the weekend. Rest just doesn't seem like a deserving enough answer. We if nothing else, I can spend the weekend trying to figure out what goal I am achieving.
I'll report on my weekend as soon as I return to access to electricity and electronics!
I am doing my best to add one more human to my household. (details not available for disclosure on a public blog, but it's not an adoption).
I continue trying to help my friend John and his orphanage in Ghana. Talking with him has really changed my perspective on life. I thought seeing Ethiopia changed my life. But in reflection, I was there only 7 days, it was as if the 30 second commercials were now a prolong infomercial... I still didn't know the reality of it. And now I know enough to say that 5 weeks in Ghana is merely a vacation no matter the circumstances. I don't know the first thing about Ghana or the lives the people live. (okay I might know a little about the first thing... but that's all I know). Some days the world seems extremely tiny and other days overwhelmingly large. One minute things are as easy as an email to a foreign embassy, the next second it's as complicated as trying to get an original document via postal mail in the hands of someone who really doesn't have an address (just consider for a moment the likelihood of getting a piece of mail into the hands of a man on a mountain not near a road or identifiable dwelling - I don't care what the commercials say... fed ex and Brown are not that good).
And as if the world is not complicated enough I am helping the 6th grader in my house with a science experiment that was nothing less than surprising. I am not a botanist or biologist of any kind, but it seems to be the deeper you bury a seed the longer it will take to reach the surface. Granted we didn't have the best scientific controls and there are unlimited variables that come into play, but I was sure the seed under 1/2 inch of soil would burst through the surface much faster than the seed under 4 inches of soil. But no it did not! Maybe just an uncontrolled variable, I don't know; and I am choosing to blog rather than research the answer. But I think it proves a point about people are deep and who carry a lot of weight on their shoulders, it just makes them stronger and faster than those who are shallow.
The name of this blog is a bit of a motto for me. Everyday has something to capture. This weekend I am going away on a silent retreat. Just thinking about it makes my brain hurt - mostly because I am goal oriented. I am trying to place a goal or an outcome on the weekend. Rest just doesn't seem like a deserving enough answer. We if nothing else, I can spend the weekend trying to figure out what goal I am achieving.
I'll report on my weekend as soon as I return to access to electricity and electronics!
Monday, November 9, 2009
A series of unlikely events
A series of unlikely events. Really that's been the story of my life. One unlikely event after another... it's a wonder anything suprises me. But indeed life has a way about it. It brings me back to why I don't much care for reading fiction - real life is much more interesting and dramatic and sometimes hold much more sadness and love than is possible to fathom. You just can't get any of that by reading a book.
I think it's important to note that every event that we deem as fragile and sensitive makes us stronger. The fragility of life makes us stronger as humans. I suppose like lifting weights or training for a race... it's really not a very comfortable process, but the outcomes can be so rewarding. But what happens when the stakes are higher, not a sore muscle, but a broken heart.
I think it's important to note that every event that we deem as fragile and sensitive makes us stronger. The fragility of life makes us stronger as humans. I suppose like lifting weights or training for a race... it's really not a very comfortable process, but the outcomes can be so rewarding. But what happens when the stakes are higher, not a sore muscle, but a broken heart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
